Need to destroy someone?

"Chariotoflove" (chariotoflove) 02/12/2019 at 10:07 • Filed to: Black magic

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I was just followed by “Sara L. Horton”. Sara appears to be a normal look ing white gal, but she’s really a practitioner of black magic. Her profile says,

“Hi, I am Sara from Maryland. I am working as a selling agent at Krause’s Sofa Factory. I really enjoy my job because I met new people on daily basis. Last Monday I have met a person who is a black magic specialist. He provides an easy !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! , which is working effectively.”

I don’t know who she is working to destroy, but I hope I don’t become her next project. Still, I may bookmark the linked site in case I need someone out of the way.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Chariotoflove 02/12/2019 at 10:12

2

I’d rather be followed by Edward Everett Horton.

Better magic, too.

The Dummy Gummy > Chariotoflove 02/12/2019 at 10:13

7

They sold me on ‘pay after results’. Bring on the VOODOO!

WilliamsSW > Chariotoflove 02/12/2019 at 10:14

10

Since you doxxed her, you’re next on her list. 

Chariotoflove > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 02/12/2019 at 10:16

2

Horton who?

Chariotoflove > WilliamsSW 02/12/2019 at 10:17

5

Fu.....

ttyymmnn > Chariotoflove 02/12/2019 at 10:18

2

Engrish.

ttyymmnn > Chariotoflove 02/12/2019 at 10:20

1

Sounds like a fun guy:

[Horton] began his college career at Oberlin College in Ohio. However, he was asked to leave after he climbed to the top of a building and, after a crowd gathered, threw off a dummy, making them think he had jumped.  

And yes, I got your joke.

Chariotoflove > ttyymmnn 02/12/2019 at 10:21

1

My kind of guy really. 

KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time > Chariotoflove 02/12/2019 at 10:22

10

Damn! I almost want to change my username to this.. .almost

Chariotoflove > The Dummy Gummy 02/12/2019 at 10:22

3

Anyone who would use such a professional looking font has got to be legit, right?

boredalways > Chariotoflove 02/12/2019 at 10:22

3

Spanfeller is a twat > Chariotoflove 02/12/2019 at 10:23

6

Kinja is the tinder bot proving ground

Urambo Tauro > Chariotoflove 02/12/2019 at 10:23

6

If you get Black Magic on the treads, you certainly could destroy a person.

farscythe - makin da cawfee! > Chariotoflove 02/12/2019 at 10:24

1

maaan.. dont fuck with black magic (or crazy)

bad juujuu

(i dont take chances with any of that crap... im probably one of 3 people on earth that refuses to say bloody mary to me mirror...just in case)

Chariotoflove > KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time 02/12/2019 at 10:25

1

I’d hire you. 

Chariotoflove > boredalways 02/12/2019 at 10:25

2

That should be playing when you click the site. 

and 100 more > Chariotoflove 02/12/2019 at 10:26

2

Don’t be a victim... of higher prices on new furniture!

Chariotoflove > Spanfeller is a twat 02/12/2019 at 10:27

0

If she is what you get on Tinder, I underestimated it. I have a thing for midwestern looking gals with prominent noses. 

The Dummy Gummy > Chariotoflove 02/12/2019 at 10:27

2

Agreed, which is why I invested 1/8th of the $10 million I just received from a Nigerian prince to smite my enemies!

Chariotoflove > Urambo Tauro 02/12/2019 at 10:27

1

That sounded like TMI in this context. 

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > Chariotoflove 02/12/2019 at 10:29

4

Ah man... you’re so lucky! I only got recently followed by Jennifer E Ramsey. The only thing she can help with is getting a photocopier fixed. She sucks by comparison... and looks like a bit of a munter compared to your girl

But at least I still have Cynthia A Vaz who can give me info about vashikaran love and can hook me up with some heroin and robots...

Chariotoflove > farscythe - makin da cawfee! 02/12/2019 at 10:29

3

What if I wear a mask of your face and say it for you?

I’ll report back. 

Urambo Tauro > Chariotoflove 02/12/2019 at 10:30

2

Dangit ya caught me before my edit went through . I changed my mind, decided “ Black Magic makes my tires wet” was a little too ris que, but I still wanted to make a tire shine pun.

Chariotoflove > The Dummy Gummy 02/12/2019 at 10:30

1

That’s budget smiting right there. 

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > Chariotoflove 02/12/2019 at 10:31

1

Too bad I’m more powerful than they will ever know

Uh I mean magic sounds cool. 

Chariotoflove > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 02/12/2019 at 10:32

3

I dunno. Get her and Sara together, cast a little spell, and I bet you’d have a party. 

Chariotoflove > Urambo Tauro 02/12/2019 at 10:33

2

No, that was just right. Maybe a little off color for your normal, but appropriate for this place. 

WilliamsSW > Chariotoflove 02/12/2019 at 10:34

3

RIP Chariotoflove 

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > Chariotoflove 02/12/2019 at 10:34

1

I’d rather see Sara and Cynthia get together (added to my post) ...

ttyymmnn > Chariotoflove 02/12/2019 at 10:34

1

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > farscythe - makin da cawfee! 02/12/2019 at 10:36

1

“bad juujuu”

Dammit... now that you said juujuu, YOU TURNED ME INTO A NEWT!!!!

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > and 100 more 02/12/2019 at 10:37

1

farscythe - makin da cawfee! > Chariotoflove 02/12/2019 at 10:37

1

oh.,.,.shit

and 100 more > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 02/12/2019 at 10:39

0

  Targeted marketing is really getting out of hand.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 02/12/2019 at 10:43

6

“Spent a year investing in toy monkeys in Fort Lauderdale” is now my favorite sentence of the day. Although “researching Barbie dolls” is also hilarious.

fhrblig > Chariotoflove 02/12/2019 at 10:43

4

I have an interesting follower, too...

https://kinja.com/margeclockhart

From her bio post:

Garnered an industry award while getting my feet wet with the elderly in Phoenix, AZ. Have a strong interest in building chess sets in Mexico. Spent several months developing strategies for home staging services . Spent 2001-2008 selling heroin in Gainesville, FL. Spoke at an international conference about licensing yogurt for no pay. Uniquely-equipped for working with bathtub gin on the black market .

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > fhrblig 02/12/2019 at 10:44

2

Licensed yogurt... as opposed to unlicensed black market yogurt? Why is bathtub gin worth sale on the black market, but yogurt just isn’t worth the risk?

fhrblig > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 02/12/2019 at 10:46

1

I only buy yogurt that’s manufactured under license. 

WilliamsSW > Chariotoflove 02/12/2019 at 10:46

1

As long as it’s not Comic Sans, you’re good to go.

RacinBob > Chariotoflove 02/12/2019 at 10:47

1

Nibby > Chariotoflove 02/12/2019 at 10:48

3

is she hiring

fhrblig > farscythe - makin da cawfee! 02/12/2019 at 10:48

3

As opposed to just regular Ju Ju?

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > Chariotoflove 02/12/2019 at 10:51

1

Ummm.....

DipodomysDeserti > Chariotoflove 02/12/2019 at 10:53

0

The personal lawyer of the President of the United States of America did once issue a press release in comic sans. That guy had to be legit, right? RIGHT?

Chariotoflove > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 02/12/2019 at 11:14

3

Or take all three and you have a Charmed remake. 

Chariotoflove > ttyymmnn 02/12/2019 at 11:16

2

Strangely, does not put me off.

For Sweden > fhrblig 02/12/2019 at 11:17

1

Chariotoflove > fhrblig 02/12/2019 at 11:17

1

I would like to  see said equipment.

Chariotoflove > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 02/12/2019 at 11:18

0

One can make you go blind, but the other kills you. 

fhrblig > For Sweden 02/12/2019 at 11:18

0

I guess that’s pretty good JuJu.

Chariotoflove > WilliamsSW 02/12/2019 at 11:19

0

You are my people. 

Chariotoflove > RacinBob 02/12/2019 at 11:20

1

Not as bad as I would have thought without her makeup. 

Chariotoflove > Nibby 02/12/2019 at 11:20

1

Good question. Brb...

Chariotoflove > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 02/12/2019 at 11:21

0

If she won’t show her face, it’s not working. 

Chariotoflove > DipodomysDeserti 02/12/2019 at 11:23

2

Make America Sans Serif Again. 

user314 > fhrblig 02/12/2019 at 11:23

2

It’s like the Twitcher ep of Futurama, where Mom’s Friendly Advertising Company inserts snippets of Fry’s Twits into their ad s, whether it makes sense or not.

PS9 > Chariotoflove 02/12/2019 at 11:54

2

You gotta watch out for that black magic stuff, it’s very monkey’s paw. A long time ago, I got ripped off by this asshole pretending to be a real estate developer. I did some contract work for him and built a super tacky gold interior for his penthouse suite.

Anyway , after him not paying me what he fucking owed, I turned to this black magic lady. I knew it wouldn’t work, but I just wanted to feel like I did SOMETHING, you know? I could at least stop being mad about what he did and move on. I asked the black magic kook to make him get humiliated on a global scale. I wanted to whole world to laugh at him and see him for the fraud he is.

I was wrong about it working, as it turned out. The good news is surely no one will trust him again after what has happened. The bad news is that he’s President of the United States now and we’re all going down with him. I’m sorry, guys. I’d take back the wish now if I could.

Chariotoflove > PS9 02/12/2019 at 12:41

0

The hard part you have to live with is half of the country would  blame you and the other half would give you credit.